Endless

I think the best word to describe having a stepson is "endless." There are endless amounts of laundry to do, sh*t to clean, lessons to teach, swear words to muffle, and fun. I know, "fun" threw you off, didn't it? Throws me off too. For the most part Z is well behaved. He's finally growing out of his destructo phase. I was telling my friends before he came that if he was a transformer, his name would be "Destructor." Thank god that's not the case. He's not as destructive as once believed.
We've had a good week so far - with a few minor blips. Did you know that when DyLon and I aren't looking its okay to take fireworks and set them off? Even though it's 2 weeks after the fourth of July? Yeah, I didn't know that either until Z told me. I'm calling bullsh*t on that one. Did you know that chores are for me and DyLon to do only? Yeah, I didn't know that one either. I'm calling bullsh*t on that one too. Oh, and did you know that small lies are okay as long as they don't manifest into big lies? Yeah...bullsh*t again.

Really though, other than uncleanliness, the occasional lie, and an odd obsession with fire, this week has been fun. Z and I set up my super old 16- bit Nintendo. We played Super Mario Bros 3 until we started calling each other "Mario" and "Luigi." It was at that point I decided we needed to stop being nerds and go outside for an hour. Then we went back in and started playing Nintendo again. And I have no problem telling you that I kicked a 13 year olds ass. He didn't have a chance in hell of beating me. I used to be the Nintendo princess. My brother, was of course, the Nintendo King. I could never obtain his level of Nintendo royalty.

Z and DyLon are camping this weekend. Guess what they left me? A whole pile of dishes in the sink. Isn't that nice of them? I should repay them somehow...but I'm not sure how. Perhaps I should just leave the dishes until they start growing penicillin. Meh, who am I kidding, I'll do them. And I'll probably like it too. Nobody does dishes quite like I do. I'll admit it, I'm one of those OCD types that insists on rinsing before putting them in the dishwasher. I'm usualy a big environmental Nazi - I insist everything be recycled and water saved. Except when it comes to the pre-rinse. F*ck the environment. I want clean dishes.

So they are camping and I'm stuck at home doing wedding crap. I call bullsh*t. But thank god Miriam came up and took me out to lunch. She saved me from wedding planning hell for 2 hours. Now I'm back at it...well, not right this second, but will be as soon as I hit "post."

Here are some quotes from the week to leave you with an idea of how this week went for me:

"How do I fold clothes?"

"I DID use shampoo, you just can't tell."

"I gotta take a dump."

"Do I need to put on clean underwear?"

"Papa's farts smell like something died."


Okay, back to wedding planning.

Peace.