Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm done for...

I'm injured. I'm done for. My life is over. I can no longer compete in the 2009 Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon. I was running the other day and all was seemingly well. In fact, it was better than well, it was ALMOST easy. Fault number one: thinking running was easy.

It wasn't until I got home that I realized how incredibly injured I was. I needed comfort. I wanted my Mommy to tell me it was going to be okay. I wanted my Fiance to hold me. I wanted sympathy. I was thrust into a deep dark depression because of my injury...and I knew that this would change me forever. I was now going to be the girl that couldn't compete because she had life threatening injuries. That girl. You know the one. The featured one on the 11:00pm news. Headline: "Girl gains injury, loses chances to compete." There will be a foundation set up in my name, I'm sure of it. Or at least I'll get a street named after me.

My injury, too gross for the weak of stomach and heart. My injury, too sad for the sympathetic. My injury, the bloody toe.

I know what you're thinking. It looks bad. Really bad. Perhaps I'll need amputation and a lifetime of therapy. Or perhaps I'll be doomed to a life of constant Band-Aid changes. Who knows. It is anyone's guess at this point. All I know is, my sock is stained, and so is my soul/sole. It is going to be hard for me to recover from this one. I just don't know where to start.

I guess it starts with courage.


Sigh...